George's story
I started drinking when I was thirteen to escape the reality of life. I knew it was a problem the first time because I enjoyed it too much. I lost everything through drink and drugs because I gave up caring! When my nan died in 1991 that was the end of the road and I used more drugs and alcohol which inevitably lead to me going to prison for the first time. I never had anywhere to belong in my life and nobody treated me right and respectfully, this made me introverted and distant from everyone and everything. Drugs and alcohol became my best friend, I thought, and it got me into a lot of trouble but I didn't care! I've created a lot of problems for people in my life and only now I'm recognising the amount of trouble I have caused.
I have never been happy because I could be in a crowded room and still feel totally alone because I've had so much bad in my life I could never think anything positive. The drugs and alcohol made me paranoid and worried about everything and it made me a person that I didn't like. Nobody gave me a chance in my life but I can see now that after time I wasn't worthy of a chance because I didn't know how to show feelings and emotions because these were things I was never shown. I was always pushed from pillar to post because I could not let myself get close to anybody because I thought they would just hurt me or leave me. My behaviour took me to places I could only hope others won't go because the only one it hurts in the end is you and others.
In my life I've been in and out of prison a number of times because I didn't know how to cope on my own, so I did crime because of drugs and alcohol which lead to going nowhere in my life other than prison. This is because in a strange way I only ever felt wanted in prison. I've never been able to function properly without drugs or alcohol because it was like a release mechanism.
Since I came to Emmaus I have found a place where I belong for myself! I have good structure in my life now and I now have a genuine reason to be happy with who I am. There are many good people at Emmaus who are there to help me and other companions. They don't wrap me in cotton wool, they give me a chance to be myself and learn to lead a better life. Drugs and alcohol, I am addressing, with links to Mill House which was set up for me by Emmaus to help me deal better with reality. Emmaus in my eyes has given me a new life and a better outlook on life because they are the only people who have given me a chance to live a normal life by being there and accepting me for myself and not judging me. I would like to say a warm thank you to all at Emmaus for giving me this great opportunity!